Ashes rose into the air, dancing fireflies of burnt paper against a grey background of dust. The light of a bittersweet candle filled the dimly lit room. The burnt paper he had written on the night before explaining his absence meant nothing now because she felt nothing but anger. Lucy was done with him. The night before was the last time she would ever see him, although she didn’t know it yet.
Four years had elapsed since that goodbye letter had danced with flames, but she could remember every word of it as she sat at the kitchen table staring blankly in the room. She wasn’t trying to hold on to the memory of that moment. It crept in every time she missed him. Every time she wondered why she let a moment in time define a lifetime of potential regret. It’s the trap we all fall in to from time to time. Allowing a temporary feeling to make a permanent impact on the course of our lives. Like putting out a lit cigarette on your own arm to impress childhood friends only to have a lasting scar visible for all to see. Her anger was ephemeral, the regret it left in her heart left a lasting burn. He had gone off to fight. Not in some noble war, but a battle to face his own demons, his own addictions. It was his last letter before he moved in an effort to become the man Lucy needed him to be, but could never fully realize. It seemed to be a cruel fate. A man in honest pursuit of betterment only to have it cut short. There was one snippet of the letter that had not been turned to ash all those years ago. Carl’s note to her simply read:
Darling you’ve been with me these last two years and you’ve seen me rise and fall like the tides. You’ve seen me climb mount tops, and you’ve seen me descended into caverns so deep and so dark I was certain I would never be able to see again. My days of success and my days of failure. You’ve nearly seen them all. Always there, always caring, always smiling no matter the pain. while managing to smile twice as hard every time we experienced the joy we were both capable of bringing each other together. the cliche thing to say is the magic we have together is that stuff others poke fun at, but long for all the same. I’m sorry I let one thing lead to another again, and I’m solemnly sorry to be doing this to you at this time. At such a time where we both must grow up in this life in order to take care of life. I do not doubt there are tumultuous times ahead, but we will face them together once I return. Once I am clear and the man you need us to be. I can’t wait to face this world with you when I return. for you, for us. All three of us now.
He never made it to that clinic he never made it past the state line. His life had ended at an intersection, 50th, and 3rd the miscalculation of one false move looking left instead of looking right. His car was struck head-on by a truck and rolled several times catapulting the driver through the windshield. Landing abruptly on an adjacent lawn where the resident rushed out and managed to spend the last moments.
She wondered if there was something left of him still; Something, somewhere. If that cosmic energy was still out there and if she would ever cross its path again. As she looked up her son walked into the room, still a toddler at that age. She pulled him on to her lap and read the note aloud. As she looked into his eyes, He brought a smile to her face and lit up the room.
Bond's Blurbs 